Sometimes, our goals are not really our own, but what we see in our environment and were influenced into believing that "those' are "my goals".  In doing so, or in adhering to principals, techniques, and "dos and don'ts" that others pass onto us, we may not be exhibiting our best strengths.  In other words, what one conveys may not always be suitable for us.  And this is one thing that takes a lifetime to realize, in everything from nuances in personalities, mode of speech, the way we present and carry ourselves, to what clothes we wear.

During a English literature research on Xi Shi, one amongst the Four Beauties of Ancient China, I was reminded of the saying, 東施效顰, "dong1 shi1 xiao4 pin2".  Meaning (highlit below):

WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING THAT YOU THINK WILL GET YOU THE RESULTS YOU WANT BY VAINLY ATTEMPTING TO IMITATE or "MODEL" ANOTHER, ONLY TO AMPLIFY YOUR OWN DEFICIENCIES.

"There is another well-known figure of unknown origin, probably fictional and parodical, named Dong Shi (東施). The "Dong" in her name means "east" contrasting to Xi Shi's "Xi", which means "west". Apart from her name, she is said to be the exact opposite of Xi Shi in being extremely ugly. This in turn has created the saying "Dong Shi imitates a frown" (东施效颦) (Xi Shi, being a sickly girl, often had chest pains; it was said that her beauty was most marvellous when she was wincing from the pain because all Chinese historians were male who interpreted the look of feminine pain as reminiscent of the peak of masculine sexual conquest over the fairer sex), whereas Dongshi, being ugly and thus inviting no suitor, emphasized her own ugliness while imitating Xishi's look of sexualized frailty and suffering. The saying has taken on a meaning to signify one's vain attempt imitating another only to emphasize one's own weaknesses.

A tongue twister that works best in Mandarin references Xi Shi: 西施死時四十四，四十四時西施死。(XīShī sǐ shí sì shí sì, sì shí sì shí XīShī sǐ.) It means Xishi died at (the age of) forty-four, at (age) forty-four Xishi died."

via - Wikipedia.org at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xi_Shi